What are you waiting for?

Hi there, 

I start my book GRIP with a guide for your workweek. And with good reason. 

We all have dreams—big and small. But amid countless other demands on your time, you sometimes have to push yourself to work on them. I’ve found that a clear head makes that far easier to do. If you’re no longer spending every spare evening and weekend trying to catch up on email or something (like I used to do), then you free up room for all kinds of new stuff. 

That’s when things really get moving.

Getting out of your own way

Even when we’re all set to move forward and grow, however, we tend to get in our own way. Change takes lots of our energy of course. And it can also just be incredibly difficult to see how we’re blocking our own next step.

Other people can see more clearly. I once heard someone suggest that we ask the people close to us, What’s stopping me from taking the next big step? It’s a gentle way of inviting close colleagues, good friends, or family to give you encouragement and suggestions. Then it’s up to us to do something with what we learn.

We often secretly know already what we’re going to hear when we pose the question, yet we still do little in response. Why do we so often do so little with the feedback we get? Why don’t we take the class that’s recommended to us? Or read that book? Or make that change? I think it may be that we tend to wait to act until we’ve completely accepted that what the other person said about us is true. 

But there’s no need to wait. 

Doesn’t matter if feedback’s true or not. Skip to the part where you do something about it

I try to separate my take on feedback from what I do about it. Because whether I accept the feedback or not, there’s always some action I can take to do better in that area. So when you get feedback, don’t worry about whether it’s true. (“I’m not really all that critical in meetings, am I?” “My presentations aren’t so bad, right?”)

Fast-forward to possible actions and experiments instead: “How can I come across as friendlier and open to new ideas?” Or “How can I give more memorable presentations?” Feedback then becomes a prompt to act, not to second-guess yourself. 

That doesn’t mean that separating these things is easy. Feedback can hit hard, and that can make you resist it. But skipping straight to the action instead of pondering what’s been said can bring welcome relief. And it gets results, which ups your confidence along the way. 

Looking forward to hearing what it opens up for you!

Have a good week,

Rick

produced by the language girl