Gaining confidence in getting things done
Hi there,
When you start a new job, a new way of working, or even a new project, it can all be a bit much. Everything feels uncertain.
Or perhaps you’ve had some kind of blunder at work and are looking for some solid ground again. Can I handle this? Have I got what it takes?
And then there’s impostor syndrome: People may think you’ve got everything under control, but how long before you’re unmasked and they all see that you’re just winging it?
I’m no stranger to these three variations on feeling insecure about work. And from the questions people send me, I gather I’m not alone. I would say we all struggle to some degree with the sense of a mismatch between what we know we’re capable of and what’s expected of us.
Different people deal with these feelings of inadequacy in different ways. For some, it’s paralyzing. Others seem to maneuver through just fine.
How can you build on your self-confidence? What helps break through negative thoughts about your own abilities?
Here are some tactics that work for me.
Find out what’s expected, then look for the butterflies
For starters, I usually turn things around and think: If you don’t occasionally feel out of your depth, then odds are your work is too easy, too safe. And that will eventually catch up with you. Butterflies in your stomach, on the other hand, mean there’s something to learn and something to be gained.
When starting anew, we want to perform from day one. Usually without asking what’s expected of us. And that’s counterproductive. Do you feel like you’re left swimming, with no firm footing under you? Ask your supervisor or your client what they’d like to see. Get it down on paper, in as precise terms as possible.
I often suggest that people take the time to update their job description to suit their current duties. And to ask their boss: “At what point would you say I’ve been successful in this role? Where do you expect me to be a month from now?” Those kinds of direct answers can be clarifying.
Once you pin down what’s expected, go in search of the butterflies.
Ask for help if you get stuck
Some time back, I put out a call for productivity tips on Twitter. Lena fired off a list of six, all great. My favorite? “Ask for help if you get stuck.” That one hit home.
Asking someone to look over your shoulder when you’re feeling unsure of yourself doesn’t always come naturally. If you’re anything like me, you want to figure it out yourself and show you’re on top of things. But that’s the road to getting stuck, with more stress, delays, and missed deadlines.
Let’s just say I’m familiar.
Instead: Ask for help early and often. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and it gets easier! Asking for help means you’re aware of what you don’t know, and the funny thing is, that comes across as confidence.
So give yourself sufficient time to have a go at it. But if you get stuck, or if you’re not sure you’re headed in the right direction, don’t let the situation last more than a day. Ask.
Make little promises you can keep
You build confidence in yourself and inspire confidence in those around you by making promises and keeping them. Each time that works, it’s like a happy little check mark in your own head and in the minds of others.
We could all use more check marks. And when we first start out, or when we’re coming out of a difficult time, it seems quantity is especially important. Start by making small promises that won’t take you more than an hour.
“I’ll take care of the minutes for this meeting and make sure the action points get done.”
Or “I’ll arrange the next meeting this week.”
Or “I’ll get the next steps in my project to you by tomorrow at the latest.”
Then you can start taking bigger strides.
Share your progress along the way
In my book GRIP, I describe the power of a catalyst to motivate us. Sharing interim results can act as a catalyst. Ensure you’ll have results along the way that you can tell others about. That boosts energy and enthusiasm for everyone involved, and has the added bonus of double-checking that you’re headed in the right direction.
Have a good week!
Rick
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